Teach Them Diligently

Greetings Dear Friend:

We started our third official homeschooling year last Monday. We welcomed a kindergartener and a second grader to the Duffey Schoolhouse this year. Our home offers an education in life, not just academics. Before our kids were born, God led Justin and I to cross paths with a homeschooling family that we just fell in love with. Two sweet little girls captured our hearts, exuding the fruits of the spirit at such a young age. I remember telling their mom after Barrett was about a year old that I couldn't teach my son. I wasn't qualified. She encouraged me that surely I could. I had been teaching him all along...to eat, to walk, to pray, to be gentle. In that instant, the seed was planted. All these years later, I can't imagine spending my days any other way.

Through the first few years of parenting, I did a lot of soul searching. What did I want my kids' childhood to look like? What did I want parenthood to look like for Justin and I? Most importantly, what did God want our family life to look like? God quickly moved me to be a stay-at-home mom before my babies even arrived. I wanted to enjoy all the little moments for myself even before I knew just how much I would love being a mom. I have been so blessed to have Justin completely support me with all of the decisions that I have made regarding our children. Once I found my footing with Barrett, I went back to work part-time from home. It was a juggling act but also such an exciting time. I had the best of both worlds for a little while. I had dreamed of a fun career for so long. I was already on my way...all I had to do was continue down that path. Even though we were planning another baby, I decided to ride the wave and see where things went. I spent several hours each week working from home and a few hours working in the office, with the help of a very generous friend that offered childcare. Doors opened, and it all worked out...until it didn't.

In August of 2017 (days after I became pregnant with Tatum), Hurricane Harvey rocked our world. Our home was a flooded disaster. My babysitter moved. Mother's Day Out (our plan for September childcare and beyond) flooded. My backup babysitter's house flooded. I no longer had reliable internet access. God was clearly closing all the doors. What was He trying to tell me? In hindsight, I can tell you He was pointing my eyes to focus on my family. Fast forward through a serious bout of anxiety/depression, caring for a teeny tiny newborn and toddler, PTSD during hurricane season, and then COVID, I knew that I needed to lean into what God was asking of me. But, what exactly was He asking?...

In Deuteronomy 6, we are instructed to remember the greatest commandment and to not only have no other gods before God, but to love God with all of our heart, soul, and might. (See Deuteronomy 6:4-9.) This passage is so important that Jesus himself references it in Matthew 22:37 and again in Mark 12:28-34. We are also instructed here how to specifically teach our children about God and his commandments. He doesn't just say "teach them". You shall teach them diligently to your children, and shall talk of them when you sit in your house, and when you walk by the way, and when you lie down, and when you rise. Deuteronomy 6:7

Diligently means with conscientious and persistent effort or attention. I have felt convicted to truly obey this to the best of my ability. For me, that means bringing my children alongside me in everyday life, so that I have more time to intentionally share not only the commandments but also a Biblical worldview. What I didn't realize is how much God was going to teach me through this obedience. He has given me such a gift in loving and caring for my family. I find no shame in "just" being a mom. It truly gives me space to keep focused on the Lord and His will.

We handle our academics at home in just a couple hours a few days a week. We are afforded so much flexibility in the fact that our life doesn't revolve around school. I can point everything to Jesus all day long in everything we do...cooking, eating, discipline, housework, errands, prayer, playing together, even intertwining it into school with language arts, handwriting, memory work, science, and history. God has shown me the fruit of this labor...this very imperfect labor that sometimes results in tears and apologies. My children are starting to display the fruits of the spirit, just as a saw in the two little girls years ago. The loss we might see in worldly things, we gain in irreplaceable time. There is a joy and contentment that Justin and I feel in a slower, simple life with our kids. Through the blessing of our children, we have gotten a closer glimpse of His vast love for us. Our children make lots of mistakes, but we just keep forgiving them, loving them, and guiding them anyway. It is so easy to love a Heavenly Father that unconditionally loves us this way in spite of our many mistakes.

If you love me, you will keep my commandments. John 14:15

The Lord truly sustains us in whatever He asks us to face. I have gained a confidence through the hills and valleys of these first years of parenting that I never had before. Barrett asked me the other day, "How many hours are in a year?" So, I took a moment to pull up my calculator, and as you might expect, the answer did not satisfy his curiosity. "How many minutes are in a year?" 525,600 minutes... Of course, then we had to answer how many seconds are in a year, which blew both of our minds. This exchange just reminded me of how much I love being nearby to answer all of their questions...including the hard ones about going to Heaven, where babies come from, and most recently, brain surgery. One day I will let them know that I wasn't ready to answer those hard questions, but when I took a pause and let the Holy Spirit lead, somehow all of those questions got answered in just the right way.

Please remember us in your prayers.

LOVE, THE DUFFEYS

You shall teach them diligently to your children, and shall talk of them when you sit in your house, and when you walk by the way, and when you lie down, and when you rise. Deuteronomy 6:7

A Thorn in Our Side

In the early morning hours of Friday, July 28th, I called 911. Justin suffered a seizure for the first time ever while we were sleeping. We went to the ER later that morning to address some extreme pain in his right arm and this unexplained seizure. As we suspected, they confirmed that he had dislocated his shoulder as a result of the seizure. As you can imagine, a myriad of x-rays, labs, and scans were administered, as well as a closed reduction to re-align his shoulder. Hours passed. More scans were done because the initial brain scans showed "something", which caused us major pause, as one might expect. By suppertime, he was admitted for observation, and a room full of friends and family had come to wait with us. After spending a whole agonizing day in the hospital, our neurosurgeon arrived to deliver the news that no one is ready to receive, that had only been hinted at all throughout the day. We were informed that there is a concerning, slo...

Love, The Duffeys

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